Reflection
by Riddle
Summary: Is Neville as innocent as he appears to be?


A/N: Oh god. I am never going to be a writer.   


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When I look at myself in the mirror, I am never there. All I see is an hideous man instead of my youthful face of innocence. This evil face full of hatred stares back at me, its flaming red eyes burning my own, its ugly mouth sneering at me...no, no I cannot believe this. My reflection is not me. The mirror must be making a mistake.   


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I graduated Hogwarts a decade back, a boy of eighteen. I was, I guess, a nerd...stupid, forgetful, weak...everything you'd expect a nerd to be. In the beginning of school, it was horrible, just horrible. I had friends, of course; but very few, and even they did not respect me in the way I would have liked them to.

Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas shared a dormitory with me, as well as two others. They were ok, but they never did really like me. I think they pitied me, just like the rest. Once, they even went as far as to kick me out of the room when I was snoring.

Harry Potter gets on my nerves so much. His integrity, bravery, intelligence...it was all too much for me to bear. Imagine, being in the same house with him! To be in the same classes, to watch myself fail and them succeed, to compare myself to him as a worthless nothing. Whenever I had a single chance try, he always grab that chance first.

The rest of the Gryffindors were not too inviting either. After awhile, I got used to the ignorance, the embarrassment, and the annoyance they brought upon me. There was just one person, the last person I would have expected, who actually respected me, and liked me for what I am. That person was Ron's sister, Ginny.

She gave me comfort, advice, and the love I had never been given. No, love as a friend; and this I cherished very much. Our friendship I held deep within my soul, never loosening hold. She was my little diary, my Remeberall, my everything. She had the key to my heart...she was my heart.

Without Ginny, I probably would have dropped out of school. I just about failed all my classes except Herbology. Potions was unbearable to say the least. Exceedingly nasty and down-right torturous might be better adjectives. Ginny and I spent hours studying Potions, which was the reason I did not get kicked out of class. Yeah, there were still the times where Snape made me bawl, even at the age of eighteen; but as I still remembered the boggart from my third year, it was optimistic to think that one day, he will wake up clad in my grandmother's clothes. This dream faded after Gran died in my sixth year.

When the news of Gran's death came, I fell into a depression, even with Ginny standing by my side. I was alone in the world...well, except for my mental parents, but what use can they be? They do not even know who I am.

Seventh year was incredibly hard to get by. I fell into an abyss...and I could not get out. I struggled through, with suicidal thoughts haunting me everyday. But I was too much of a coward to pick up a knife, much less killing myself. Nightmares became much more frequent...dreams of my grandmother, of my parents, of dying, of...Ginny. This greatly confused me, as I never had been attracted to anyone before. But then, Ginny...she was absolutely what I have been searching for. She was like no other, her understanding soul fit mine exactly...but again, I was too afraid to confront her with my feelings. This was a mistake.

--Flashback--

I sat, transfixed on Ginny's back, staring dreamily at her slender figure. The fire crackled in the back, burning brightly, which exactly fitted my mood. A night alone, studying with Ginny, was always my kind of night. I turned around as I heard the portrait of the Fat Lady being opened. "Oh no..."

Harry Potter stepped in, laughing, twirling his broomstick. "Hey Ginny," he smiled warmly, pretending that I did not exist. "Whatcha doing?"

"Hmm?" Ginny looked up, and seeing Harry she grinned. "Oh, hey! I'm just looking up some charms my friend needs help on."

"Oh. Anyway-" I rolled my eyes as Harry talked about his wonderful day, his quidditch practice, a prank he played on Draco...

I saw Ginny give me an encouraging wink as she feigned listening. "You know, Harry? I think that you look a tad too sleepy," she suggested hopefully. "Maybe you should go rest now...you have a game tomorrow, remember?"

"For your sake, good night then." Harry stepped over to hug her. "Come with me? I mean, to sing me to sleep?"

"You know I can't sing-"

"Please?? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Oh, all right then-" Before Ginny had a chance to finish, Harry had tugged her up the stairs.

I sighed. She was supposed to help me...but oh well, I can't be totally independent on her. Picking up the dusty book on the floor, I turned to page 2,975 to the Freezing Charm.   


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After two hours, I gave up reading and went upstairs. "Ginny's already asleep," I said to myself. "It's three in the morning." I collapsed onto my soft bed and wiped my brow. "Flitwick better-" A shuffling noise coming from Harry's bed, which was adjacent to mine, interrupted my thoughts. "What the-"

Edging closer, I pulled his covers off. "Oh my god."

"I can explain," Ginny cried desperately.

Harry just looked pleased with himself.

--End flashback--

So Potter took advantage of my weakness again. From that day on, I hated him, hated him so much that I wanted to murder him. Ginny was still there, but it was never the same again. He has stolen her from me forever.   


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I became a herbologist after I left school. I was surprisingly good at it, as I usually failed everything I came across. After a few years, my job gradually took some of my sorrow and hatred away, but yet, it still remained, wounding my heart. I desperately searched for a way to get over this.

--Flashback--

I was gathering some Mandrakes in the forest when I heard footsteps in front of me. Looking up, I recognized with disgust, the one and only: Harry Potter.

"Excuse me, mister? Have you seen a man, with red hair and freckles?" He asked, almost politely.

"Actually, I did," I lied. "Want me to help you find him?"

"Why, I would be most grateful if you do, stranger," he said.

"That stupid idiot," I thought silently, "still does not know who I am." I turned around, and started to walk, leading him into the heart of the forest.

After a hour or so, Harry stopped, and stretching, inquired, "Exactly where do you think he is? I mean, we've been walking for a long time, and I'm tired. Really, are you sure-"

"Potter, listen to me," I said, annoyed.

"How do you know my name?"

"Oh, I know more than you think," I said. "Do you know who I am?"

He shook his head, looking a little pale. "No, I-"

"Ah, so the great Harry Potter does not know everything," I sneered. "Ok, here's a clue. I used to be in the same school house as you did. I was even in the same dormitory, yet you ignored me. Ignored me for seven years!! And at the end...you...you..."

"Neville? Mottobgnol?"

" Longbottom..."

"Oh, right. Neville Longbottom! Great to see you!" He reached out to shake my hand.

I pushed him away, and he slammed into a tree. His glasses fell and shattered. "You know what you have done to me? Harry, do you? You have taken away the other half of my soul ten years ago. Do you know that? Do you know how much I have suffered because of you? How many tears I have shed? Do you?" I was getting histerical now.

"Longbottom, what are you talking about?"

"You retard!" I literally exploded. Was he playing dumb? "Dammit, you know who I mean! Ginny? Ginny Weasley?"

"It's Ginny Potter now," he smirked. "I never knew you two had an affair. I mean, I know I haven't asked, but she was too cute, you know? I mean-"

Whipping out my wand, I whispered the words that I have feared all my life. A bright green light flashed before my eyes before I had a chance to close them.

--End flashback--

I stared at the mirror once more, hoping to rediscover my real self. The sinister face gazed back, unwavering. "No...no..."   
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Um. I guess I rushed this too much, but I couldn't think of anything else. Anyway, I deserve the flames you are intending to give me. >_


End file.
